Dawn and Xander: Robbing the cradle or match made in heaven?

[Jen Bradley]

Most people I talk to seem to feel that Dawn and Xander are "yucky." I was actually happy that they got together, and it made a lot of sense to me. In fact, when I go back and watch the series even as far back as Season 5, it seems inevitable to me. Just the way Xander and Dawn interact, it seems like they already work as a unit and share the same way of thinking. I.e. in "Flooded" when Anya is embarrassing Xander by telling Buffy to charge money for saving lives. Dawn immediately says what Xander is thinking. And, of course, there's the episode "Potential."

As much as I loved Anya, I don't think she and Xander were particularly good for one another. It seems to me like Dawn is Xander's perfect woman, and that she's been meant for him all along.

Maybe the problem is that Nick Brendon is so much older than Michelle Trachtenberg. But in the series, Xander is really only 5 or 6 years older than Dawn. That seems doable to me!

Does anyone agree with me?

[Akanot]

At first i was a little shocked because i always had the feeling that Xander was like a big brother to Dawn...it's not as much the age difference as this feeling
But after a while i got used to their relationship and i don't have a problem now

[Jen Bradley]

Huh. I just never saw him as her big brother at all. I mean, she had a crush on him from the start. She never liked any of his romantic choices, not even that girl Nancy who asked for his number in "Beneath You." But I definitely could see how people would feel that way.

I guess I like my real life romance to have a really slow build, so maybe that's why I find Dawn and Xander so romantic. Like one day Xander would just realize he loved her, and he could look back on their past and see all these signs. It's kind of like Emma and Mr. Knightley if anyone reads Jane Austen.

[Akanot]

Yeah,form Dawn's side we could see that this could happen.But not from Xander's.....I also like these kinds of romance...I prefer these relationships because you really know the other person

[Crazy for BtVS]

I like the fact Xander and Dawn got together in the comics. In the series, I could kind of see it happening. It was subtle. I would've liked to have seen how they both came to this realization, because it didn't really seem to be touched upon in the comics. It was kind of like "Oh, they're together now" but you could see it building up.

I just have a bad feeling that, as with any relationship in the Buffyverse, it's not going to have a happy ending and that makes me sad.

[Jen Bradley]

I wonder if the timing also had something to do Buffy taking an interest in Xander. He's so perceptive that he must have noticed. And maybe he realized that what he thought he'd wanted all along wasn't what he wanted now, felt confused, thought about it some more, and then realized it was Dawn he loved.

[Akanot]

I think Buffy got a little jealous because Xander decided to date her sister....i don't know why that happened but if nothing happened between these two Buffy wouldn't even consider herself with Xander.She didn't seem jealous when Xander dated this other slayer who unfortunately died

I'm also afraid that this couple won't last.History can prove it.I just hope noone dies

[Jen Bradley]

I think Buffy got a little jealous because Xander decided to date her sister....i don't know why that happened but if nothing happened between these two Buffy wouldn't even consider herself with Xander.She didn't seem jealous when Xander dated this other slayer who unfortunately died

I'm also afraid that this couple won't last.History can prove it.I just hope noone dies

Well, here's what the comics senior managing editor Scott Allie said in an interview:

AX: Concerning the Xander/Dawn relationship, what are the plans with that? I know some fans maybe thought the relationship was a bit creepy.

ALLIE: The history they have together makes it a little bit weird, but that’s part of the reason they are so close. My hopes for those two is that they just get to be happy. I’ve always wanted Xander to be happy. Xander is the one guy that I really think deserves to be happy.

Allie isn't Joss, of course, but as the editor he would have considerable influence. And also Joss loves Dawn. He'd never kill her. Maybe.

[Akanot]

Allie isn't Joss, of course, but as the editor he would have considerable influence. And also Joss loves Dawn. He'd never kill her. Maybe.

Joss also loved Giles but....

[Tanner]

I think it would bug me in live action, but in the comic it's harder to see the age differences.

[hann23]

Joss also loved Giles but....

You said exactly what I thought when I read that Allie quote. I am amazed that Allie actually voiced that he wants Xander and Dawn to be happy. If he truly shipped the couple, I would think that he would keep his leanings quiet. Hmmm....

Was it Allie or Jeanty who was upset that Whedon killed Giles? I feel like he signed a death warrant for one of them with that statement.

I do hope Xander and Dawn make it. They have real potential as a powerful human couple. I'd like to see one successful relationship in the Buffyverse where someone doesn't die young. They are supporting characters so I think that the potential tedium of a long term relationship really wouldn't detract from the story. As a married mom to 2 kids, I think it would be fun to see Xander and Dawn remain committed while starting a family, paying bills, holding jobs and most importantly killing the big bads.

It would be fun! I can just hear Dawn saying ---"Xander, you forgot the stakes, again?"

[Jen Bradley]

You said exactly what I thought when I read that Allie quote. I am amazed that Allie actually voiced that he wants Xander and Dawn to be happy. If he truly shipped the couple, I would think that he would keep his leanings quiet. Hmmm....

Was it Allie or Jeanty who was upset that Whedon killed Giles? I feel like he signed a death warrant for one of them with that statement.

I do hope Xander and Dawn make it. They have real potential as a powerful human couple. I'd like to see one successful relationship in the Buffyverse where someone doesn't die young. They are supporting characters so I think that the potential tedium of a long term relationship really wouldn't detract from the story. As a married mom to 2 kids, I think it would be fun to see Xander and Dawn remain committed while starting a family, paying bills, holding jobs and most importantly killing the big bads.

It would be fun! I can just hear Dawn saying ---"Xander, you forgot the stakes, again?"

Yes! Yes! This would also resonate with Buffy's arc, I think. She'd watch her friends moving on, while she is chained to her mission. Maybe even more so, considering that she only has a finite amount of time on earth to kill all the remaining vampires because there will be no Slayers to take her place. It'd be exactly like in real life when you're pushing 30 and all your friends are getting married and having babies, or at least getting new promotions. Or all three . . . and you're just stagnating in the same boring job, with no love life to speak of.

Dawn has always been a little envious of Buffy, but if she had a normal life with Xander, then the tables would turn. Buffy would start envying her little sister. Interesting!

[DrGreenEvil]

Cradle robbing. Total cradle robbing.

[Hallow Thorn]

Love them apart. Hate them together.

[Rupert Giles]

Kind of Cradle Robbing. I always remember that chapter of Anya with Xander babysiting Dawn when I come to think about this Xawn thing. Certainly, that was years ago. Still I would say I dislike it. But, all things considered, it is not a bad idea. Surely Dawn will die in S9, since all Xander's lovers get killed .

[Jen Bradley]

Kind of Cradle Robbing. I always remember that chapter of Anya with Xander babysiting Dawn when I come to think about this Xawn thing. Certainly, that was years ago. Still I would say I dislike it. But, all things considered, it is not a bad idea. Surely Dawn will die in S9, since all Xander's lovers get killed .

Well, that's not exactly true. Faith is still alive! And Xander's lovers don't seem to get killed while they're actively dating him. I mean, I guess he and Anya were back together by "Chosen," but I don't think they'd had "the talk" yet. And Renee and he hadn't started to date officially.

So maybe Dawn should never ever dump Xander, and she'll be safe.

[Shane]

Kind of Cradle Robbing. I always remember that chapter of Anya with Xander babysiting Dawn when I come to think about this Xawn thing. Certainly, that was years ago. Still I would say I dislike it. But, all things considered, it is not a bad idea. Surely Dawn will die in S9, since all Xander's lovers get killed .

^^ It might help if you called them Dander. Xawn sounds like the name of some superboss.

So maybe Dawn should never ever dump Xander, and she'll be safe.

Nice trick!

[Veiriti]

Yes! Yes! This would also resonate with Buffy's arc, I think. She'd watch her friends moving on, while she is chained to her mission.

Buffy is not alone anymore, she is having Spike on her side now. He is so devoted to her and I believe he never let her down. And both of them are chained in the same mission.
IMO she was jealousy and envious of Dawn and Xander because she was so alone and desperate on Season 8…

[Rupert Giles]

^^ It might help if you called them Dander. Xawn sounds like the name of some superboss.

What do you mean with superboss? Who is Xawn? Someone from SA? S-s-sorry.... no offense intended

Nice trick!

Indeed

[Jen Bradley]

Buffy is not alone anymore, she is having Spike on her side now. He is so devoted to her and I believe he never let her down. And both of them are chained in the same mission.
IMO she was jealousy and envious of Dawn and Xander because she was so alone and desperate on Season 8…

Yeah, but Spike is a vampire. He can definitely fill Buffy's emotional void with passionate love, unflinching support, and maybe even some really awesome sex. But he can't take her into the sunlight or give her children or, most importantly, he can't grow old with her. As Dawn and Xander set up their home, maybe get married, have kids, start saving for retirement, then actually retire, Buffy will have to watch from the sidelines as all these things pass her by. And as Dawn once said in some Season 6 or 7 episode, Buffy will always have crap jobs because her slaying is her true calling. So she might never graduate college, and she'll never have much money. (I don't see why she doesn't teach yoga or fitness, though. Much better than waitressing!)

I don't think Buffy will feel jealous in the malicious sense, but she might feel wistful and a bit neglected from time to time. And maybe once in a while, she'll think about what it would be like to be Dawn instead of Buffy. I think Dawn must have wondered on occasion what it would be like to be the Slayer, but things have worked out for the best. Now that she's content with how her life has turned out, I think she can finally be at peace with Buffy and with herself.

That's why I think Xander and Dawn really work. Xander is just a regular guy, and he's done so much. He really understands Dawn's insecurities, and he's seen how she's grown up. Now that he treats her like a woman, she feels like a woman.

Meanwhile, Xander has always picked very strong women, but they always embarrassed him or emasculated him in front of his family and friends. He always fought with them, and he never really understood or fully respected any of them. Now, I do think he loved Anya, but . . . he didn't have very many options. As we saw with Nancy in "Beneath You," not a lot of women would be willing to put up with his Scooby Doo Gang responsibilities. Dawn is different. He does understand her. He truly respects her. He never treats her with contempt or corrects her. She's become incredibly hot. And she's a Summers girl, and deep down Xander has always wanted to belong to Buffy somehow. She and Willow are his family. Now Buffy will truly be his sister, and he'll be fully admitted to the family.

---

And Shane, "Xawn" sounds like some Star Wars villian. "Oh no, Anakin! It's Darth Xawn!"